So you and your fiance decided it would be nice to write your own wedding vows. It sounded like a romantic idea at the time, but now the magnitude of the task has brought on writer’s block. We’ve already covered how to write your wedding vows, but read on for a guide to writing your wedding vows.
Just Start Writing
For some folks, the best way to write your wedding vows is just to start writing. Write about what you love about your fiance, the things you’ve been through together, and what you are looking forward to about being married. It’s okay if what you write rambles or isn’t how you want your final vows to be. Just get your feelings down on paper.
Record Yourself Telling Your Love Story
Sit down with a good friend, start the recorder on your phone, and reminisce about your love story. You know the story you tell to new people when they ask how you two met / how you made it long distance / how you decided to be together after so long? The story you tell that makes people say, “aww… that’s sweet.” That’s the one you want to get on tape. When you’ve finished the story, you can replay it and transcribe it for your records. Usually the language you use when telling the story in person is more genuine than if you write it down.
Make a List of Promises
Vows are really just promises so think about what marriage really means to you. What are you willing to provide for your spouse in your life together. Make a list of promises that all start with “I promise to” or “I promise not to”. Feel free to write these all out without thinking too much. You can always go back through and cross off the items that aren’t a good fit. Don’t feel like they have to all be serious either. Promising to watch baseball games even though they are boring can be a sweet vow if it means a lot to your partner.
Pull It All Together
Now that you’ve got all the pieces, it’s time to pull everything together. Sit down with your free-write, your love story, and your list of promises. Go through each one and underline or highlight the parts that sound the best and are most representative of your feelings about marriage. Then, organize those pieces into a structure that works. Most self-written vows start with a little build up (taken from free-write and/or love story) and then close with the promises.
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